Cohabitation Agreements: A Growing Trend

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there has been a steady increase in the number of unmarried couples living together over the last two decades.  Experts have different theories for the cause of this trend.  In general, a lot of couples are seeking other options to the traditional marriage, guaranteeing an easy way out if the relationship breaks down.  Other couples feel the need to “test the waters” before jumping the broom.

For whatever the reason, this trend has given rise to couples seeking to have cohabitation agreements drawn up, which outlines the entitlements in the relationship, such as property rights and distribution of assets.

The make-up of the American household is also changing with the increase in same-sex domestic partnerships.  However, the law in most states with regards to the responsibilities and rights of individuals in same-sex unions has not caught up and therefore couples are left with the dilemma of trying to figure out what to do when there is dissolution of the union.

A cohabitation agreement is one way both heterosexual and same-sex couples can assign expectations and responsibilities in the relationship. Such an agreement should be done with the advice and direction of an attorney.  It should contain the same formalities as a prenuptial agreement for it to be enforceable in the courts.

Keeping the Kids From Dad?

In a New York case, Lauren R. v Ted R., the judge ordered the mother to jail during the father’s visitation time.  The judge ruled the mother had willfully violated court ordered visitation time by not allowing her children to visit with their father and bad mouthing the father in front of the children.

Understand this:  Custodial parents have a duty to nurture and foster a positive and healthy relationship between their children and the non-custodial parent.  Not allowing the non-custodial parent their court ordered visitation time is a violation and the custodial parent will be held in contempt of court.  This is a New York case, but all states have rules against violating court orders.

Jail time is not always ordered.  Courts have taken other actions, such as change custody to the non-custodial parent.   In Colorado, a custodial parent must not interfere with the court ordered visitation plan.  In the event the custodial parent is concerned for their children’s safety in the care of the the non-custodial parent, he or she must bring this to the court’s attention.  Depending on the immediacy or level of harm, the custodial parent may either seek a Temporary Domestic Violence Protection Order and then file a Petition for Modification of Parenting Time in District Court or just file the Petition for Modification of Parenting Time.

In order to justify a reallocation of parenting time, the court must have proof of actual or serious threat of harm to the child.  So in other words, you have to prove that your child’s health, safety, and development are in danger under the current terms of the visitation order.

What do you take from this article?  That the court takes family matters very seriously and when children are involved, their health, safety, and positive development come first.   Every action the court takes will turn on whether it is in the best interests of the children.  So parents, any action you take should turn on the same.

Common Sense Payments

Are you a Dad paying child support directly to the mother of your child?  Make sure you keep records of all payments by writing a check and keeping your statements to prove payment on the check.  Also, make sure you write “for child support”, along with the month and year on the check.  If you don’t have a checking account, get one, if only for the purpose of paying child support.  Without a checking account, receipts signed by the mother for proof of payment each month may be sufficient.  But… there is a chance mom won’t cooperate.

Why do all this?  Well, obviously, for your legal protection.  The court will only consider documented proof of payments in determining the amount of back support owed.  Many fathers have complained that they have paid the support, but the mothers deny receipt of any payment.  Obviously, the court will go with the mother’s denial if you cannot prove you paid.

To avoid any of this, the best way to pay child support is through Family Support Registry or a wage assignment.  I know, I know… You are thinking you don’t want to deal with a middle man or have your employer involved.  However, you owe the money and will have to pay it anyway.  Having the payment deducted directly from your check or facilitating payments through Family Support Registry will benefit you in the long run.  Primarily you won’t have the trouble of keeping a personal record of the payments and you will have documented proof that payments were made.  This is the best evidence to the court in a Contempt Proceeding.

Sometimes, you have to go through a little trouble to avoid big trouble.

New York Cases Provide Expanded Rights to Gay-Lesbian Couples

Two New York cases heard this past week provide more rights to Gay-Lesbian couples in which there are biological children.

In a split decision, one case provides that a lesbian who gave birth to a child during a relationship may seek child support in family court from her former partner.

The second case, in a unanimous decision, allows the former partner of a lesbian who gave birth to a child during the relationship standing to petition for visitation and parenting time.

See the full article at http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/05/nyregion/05gays.html

Are you a dad with custody of your child, but still paying child support?

Many fathers find themselves in a situation where they are paying child support to the mother of their children, but for various reasons have the children full-time.  Often times, fathers in this situation will not pay the child support and feel they are justified since they are taking care of the children full-time.

As a result, these fathers will end up owing back support.  Modifications on current and future support payments are possible, but any modifications on back support generally are not.  Back support payments are treated as a debt and cannot be reduced or discharged.

If you are a father who takes care of your children full-time without evidence of a court order and are ordered to pay child support, file a petition for Allocation of Parenting Time – this will petition the court to have a parenting plan in place and to order a custodial parent for the child.  As part of the proceeding to determine Allocation of Parenting Time, the court will determine which parent shall be the custodial parent and which will be the non-custodial parent.  In addition, the court will order the non-custodial parent to pay child support based on guidelines set by the state.